Supermarket Self Service Checkouts

Ask my girlfriend what one thing she does not make me do, and that's the food shopping ! She does not want to witness violent murder, dismemberment or gutting of other customers whilst she tries to choose what cheese we should be having !

I hate food shopping.

I hate the people you find in supermarkets.

With a passion.

In the past, I have had to stop my trolley and just walk out of a supermarket before I actually committed the act of murder on some inbred fuckwit.

So, when the need arises, and there is no alternative, it's a challenge for the rest of society to avoid my murderous intentions whilst I get whatever it is we need.

But, recently, supermarkets have been introducing self service checkouts. Void of the pond scum that supermarkets seem to employ for checkout assistants, these devices promise a swift procedure and actually make my experience a little calmer. No more waiting for the dumb ginger bitch on the till to question the price of Vagisil or argue whether the coupon was vaild anymore. A simple swipe through a barcode reader, and you could be on your way in seconds rather than hours.

But I forgot to factor in the highly common "ignorant" gene found in a large proportion of the human race. People who cannot read clear instructions, ranging from "baskets with 10 items or less" signs to which way to scan an item.

Far from actually alleviating a problem, they have simply exacerbated an existing one. The problem with a vast section of mankind that says they are pre-disposed to be totally ignorant cunts.

I love these devices and I have now realised that the supermarket is actually trying to help people like me, but sadly, their valiant quest is being foiled by the dumb fucks that seem to be far more prevalent than ever before. Maybe they should install a device infront of these checkouts that scans for intelligence and rejects anyone falling short of a pre-determined level of common sense.

I love my local village shop and feel that the few extra pence I spend per item there is worth the reduced stress from having to deal with the ignorant plebians we experience all too often in our supermarkets today.

By the way, the guy in the pic at the top isn't me, but it was the best pic I could find. The look on his face seems to mirror the cuntish wankers you see trying to figure out these machines on a daily basis.